Battlefield

I am not afraid of you.

My voice is loud

and true

for all your linear correct.

You,

who are more broad-backed and leather-skinned,

are no match for me.

I am great.

I am mighty.

I am unafraid.

But

for the sake of the argument

let's say that I'm white-knuckling my way

through this first page.

let's say

the Richter scale

doesn’t register my quake.

Let’s say

for the sake of fairness

that you're scared too.

I mean,

Let’s look at the reality:

I'm defacing you

like a New York subway.

And maybe you don't even like my graffiti!

For however contemporary and new-age I may

envision my talents,

you could think I was tripping on 'shrooms

and my own two left trains of thought

when I started this!

Honestly,

I just wanted to get through this first date

with no awkwardness,

but that's like asking Michael Vick

to successfully run an animal shelter.

Let me say

I dig the lines on your face.

I do, I genuinely do,

because you haven't had any work done.

I promise,

When I take you home,

to hold you tight.

To open you only in private

gently

Just fingertips

nothing else

just little furtive

glances

my mouth

will spit speech that’s only

marginally comprehensible

But listen anyway

Because I’ll mess up any way

You slice it.

Just listen,

You’ll like what I have to say

Listen.

We will get through this.

Just let me love you.

And I promise

that I will hold your spine

like a newborn breath

I will press one point

Just one

Against you.

That came out way worse

Than I meant,

But I mean to say

I will create new life

With you!

I will show you my best angles.

Let’s say

We were meant to be together.

Puzzle-crooked and lock-aware.

Let’s say it.

Out loud.

Say it.

Say it to me.

Updates

Hello there!

Thanks for stopping by for yet another exciting non-poetry post! Considering that I'm about to tackle a few big projects (like, I dunno, getting freaking married), I thought that it was time to get my sh!t in line and do a little house-keeping.

So! For those of you in the DMV (for those of you unfamiliar with that term... DC-Maryland-Virginia area), you REALLY should come out to the Silent Treatment Entertainment's weekly open mic and feature performance, Spirits and Lyrics. It's like church for me (with one sexy congregation leader, amirite?) and I have been slacking in my duties as a Silent Treatment Staple. Everybody, all together, say bad poet... Now, say it again... slowly... Joking aside, y'all should seriously consider coming out. It's an incredibly fun, sexy, all-around entertaining time with some awesome proprietors, a wicked-funny groundskeeper, and some incredible poets that you can't miss! Every Tuesday night at 9PM you can find me there, performing my lungs (and voice box and teeth and tongue) out!

Now, on to poetry... Because June has been declared Slam Month, there will be four (count them, FOUR) slams that I will be participating in this month, all graciously hosted by STE. These slams are perfect for people new to the world of slam poetry because they are low pressure and don't count towards your scores at the national level! Check 'em out:

Week 1 - New Sh!t Slam: this slam is exactly what it sounds like. Bring your new pieces (practiced and timed, of course), rip up the Comfort Zone with 'em, and show people what new muscles you've got!

Week 2 - Summer Lovin' Slam: this love-themed slam is all about that mushy gushy (or dark and terrifying) love. Get out your best romance pieces and take them for a spin!

Week 3 - Last Chance Slam: if I'm not mistaken, this is part of STE's Lock'd & Load'd Slam Series, but I'm not certain of the details... I'm fairly sure that it's for one more slot in the Grand Slam... Also, only $10 to get in with a chance to win $50!

Week 4 - Mystery Date Slam: no details yet from our gracious proprietors, but I'm excited to learn more about this!

So yes, SUPER excited for that! Since New Sh!t Slam is next week (oh MAN oh man oh man), I'm obviously getting my pieces in line. That being said, here are a few familiar pieces that are officially complete or that you should check out:

• The Fourth Planet
• VoicemailSecret
• Eyes Like Cold
• Appalachia Waltz

I hope that you enjoy those pieces! Keep checking back for more new works in progress... you'll see one here shortly...

Anyway, thanks for stopping by! Have a lovely day!

Best,

-Brittany

VoicemailSecret

One.

Hello.

I’m still in love with you.

Please call me.

Two.

I’m completely convinced that you don’t shower.

Like seriously, when I talked about bars and happy hour,

I meant soap

And the glorious day that your toenails are clean.

Three.

We were never meant to be.

Your body was too slippery for me to hold;

I did it anyway.

I’m still spitting out the fellatio

And the regret.

Four.

I fell in love with you

Like a ten-car pile-up.

We were messy like too much tequila

But you liked it that way.

I wish I could say the same.

Five.

You left me for a train wreck in progress

And expected me to swallow it like medicinal shrapnel.

No part of you was good for me.

Six.

My favorite part of you

Was your ears.

My mother tongue could leave you so many shades

Of broken

You’d hallelujah all the way to the night stand

And couldn’t sunrise back up.

Seven.

I was charmed by your accent.

I wish your face had matched.

Eight.

You were my favorite number.

But not my favorite fuck.

Nine.

You didn’t know how to use

All of your fingers.

I would lie and say that it’s fine,

But I don’t have enough Southern hospitality in me.

Ten.

Bless your heart.

 

Eleven.

They always said to never stick it in crazy.

Thanks for doing it anyway.

Twelve.

You helped me reach new heights

And for that I am grateful.

You are a peace

I cannot get anywhere else.

Thirteen.

God, I wish I had never met you.

Fourteen.

God, I wish I had married you.

Fifteen.

I’m sorry I never called you back.

I was too busy being afraid to admit to us.

Sixteen.

For the last time,

I will not include you in a threesome.

Someone once told me

To never stick it in crazy.

Seventeen.

So,

Wanna be in a threesome?

Eighteen.

Thanks for that story

I tell to warn girls about letting boys

Bite their lips.

(You know what I’m talking about.)

Nineteen.

I hate you.

I really, genuinely hate you.

You’re so fucking beautiful it makes me

Want to fuck you out of existence.

Twenty.

I haven’t seen you since second grade,

And I still want to sneak behind the tree line

And give you a huge

Bouquet of onion grass.

Twenty One.

I want to buy you flowers.

And chocolates.

And a yacht.

Twenty Two.

Would it kill you

To buy me flowers?

They’re like five fifty at Walmart!

Twenty Three.

It cost me too much

To wear my heart on your sleeve.

Twenty Four.

I’m still waiting for some of my things.

I’ve sent you my address.

Twenty Five.

What is taking you so long?

Twenty Six.

I have a greater appreciation for patience now.

I learned how to love you on the out breath.

Twenty Seven.

I know that you’re married.

I just want to know how married.

Twenty Eight.

If I could go on a first date with your voice,

I would sweat like a sumo wrestler

on top of Mount Vesuvius.

Twenty Nine.

We are so freaking awesome

The world is filing to sue us.

Thirty.

Remember that time you ripped my pants off in gym class

And let the world know that my balls hadn’t come in yet?

Thanks for that.

Thirty One.

You once told me

That you loved me for how

Mousey I was.

You were too many shades of

Closed-minded for my stomach to harvest.

Thirty Two.

You said that I would bring disgrace to your bloodline.

Challenge accepted.

Thirty Three.

Thank you for loving me,

even when I do not deserve it.

Thirty Four.

You asked me today

If I am happy.

The answer is